To be honest, lately I have been feeling very distraught, disappointed and tired. If you know me, this is unlike me as I’m usually the happy, outgoing and opportunistic person. But 2020 has put a damper on that. This year (so far) has been more than crazy and I’m not only meaning all the natural disasters and occurrences that are out of our hands but also my faith in human kind.
19 years ago this weekend ago I arrived in the USA as a young, naive 19-year old who had just graduated from high school in Germany. I came as an Au-Pair (live-in nanny) for one year to stay with an American family in sunny FL. I had not really prepared myself of what to expect so arriving with just two suitcases in a new country and meeting my host family for the first time was overwhelming. And only a few days later, 9-11 happened and my culture shock became more pronounced. However, I adjusted well and loved being with my host family and decided to stay longer than a year here in the US. I attended college, graduated with a BA, worked as a credit analyst for a company in FL while simultaneously getting my Master’s degree. Met my future husband during a fundraiser event, had two children and moved 7 times over the past 10 years. Along the way, I met many loving and caring people who guided me, mentored me and loved me. While I never had dreamt to stay in America for longer than a year and become a US citizen, over the past 19 years, I have made this my home and build my (and my family) lives around it.
However, this year everything seemed to have been turned upside down and I’m worried that living here in America may not be the best choice for my family. From the way the government (NOT) handled the pandemic, how information is being distributed and how it seems like that political attacks and power plays are more important right now than the well-being of our citizens.
Last night I went to bed at 8pm because the news I read and followed were disheartening and currently keep me from getting much needed sleep. Not only is Mother Nature lashing out at us with wildfires, destructive tornadoes, powerful CAT 4 hurricanes, flooding and a virus that no one so far has been able to contain/ cure. But mostly, I’m afraid for my fellow citizens, my African American husband, my bi-racial children and the fact that some people believe that certain human lives are less valuable than others. Our president’s actions and words have been a disgrace and are in no way a role model for my children. Name calling, lying and narcissistic behavior is not what I want to instill in my children or any of our country’s future generations. On top of it, over the past few months, everything has become a political minefield and caring for others has been pushed aside in order to portray someone’s political opinions or their “right to freedom”.
Transcript excerpts from the FEMA meeting on 8-27-2020 the president had attended:
Yesterday, during the FEMA meeting for Hurricane Laura, Donald Trump was asked if he is postponing his acceptance speech that night due to the hurricane and the unrests in the country and this was his reply: "The country is doing very well".... not sure what country he lives in??? He does not acknowledge the deaths lost and damages incurred in one of the most powerful hurricanes nor the lives being forever changed by racial injustice nor the economic hardships people are enduring due to this prolonged pandemic state we live in. Somehow, the world’s economic powerhouse can't get Covid-19 under control, which somehow other countries could and are now battling Phase 2 while we are stuck in Phase 1.
So instead of focusing on our citizens and their well-beings, the president chose to throw a huge political party and ego boasting speeches were delivered, in front of the White House nonetheless, with fireworks and opera music, making it look like a celebration. I’m in no mood for celebrations right now as long as there are people being shot recklessly, voices overturned and forces being deployed on innocent protesters.
I do not believe nor support bullying, name-calling and ruining entire companies or sporting leagues by bad mouthing and simply misstating facts on Twitter or in any other way. Maybe instead of President of the United States, Donald Trump should be voted Twitter King and presented with a crown that should make his ego happy and delight his narcissistic behaviors.
While I still think, America is a beautiful country and beautiful people live here, I’m just not seeing it that clearly right now. But there is hope, faith and kindness all around us, I just need to look a bit harder. For example, this week my daughter received her Ebay bids she purchased with her birthday money. We had asked the seller to combine the shipments as she is paying with her birthday money for those Lego purchases. When we opened the box, the Legos were wrapped in birthday paper and a Happy Birthday note was attached…This stranger’s kindness was a ray of sunshine in this dark valley I’m currently in.
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