ABC's of Motherhood

Since I became a mother 4 years ago, I have learned a lot of things about parenting and what has worked for us and what didn't work. Having 2 rambunctious toddlers at home can drive me crazy on a daily basis but it also makes my heart happy and overflow with joy when I see them achieve new milestones or when they give me unprompted kisses and hugs. In the end, raising those two is all worth the craziness that comes with being a stay-at-home (SAHM) mom. It is the toughest job I will ever love, for sure. So here are my ABC's of Motherhood.

Amelia - my firstborn who made me a  proud mommy. And it fits just right that she tops the list as my little girl is bright, spirited, loud and opinionated (hardheaded) and I love that about her. There is no doubt that she stands out in a crowd and will go far in her life.

Boys and Girls - My little girl and baby boy are very different from each other. Not just because of their different gender but also because of their personalities. One is the leader, the pushy one and instigator while the other one is the follower and sensitive child. The girl's personality is a mirror image of my personality and the boy is rather laid back/ cool headed like daddy. 

Chaos - I'm a very orderly person but since having children, my world as I knew it has been turned up-side down. Nowadays toys are laying everywhere, loose papers flying around, something is constantly missing or in need of cleaning - pretty much a well- designed chaos is running my household.

Daddy - The protector and provider and the person everyone runs to when he comes thru the door. There are days I can't wait for him to show up so that I can hide out in the bedroom for a few minutes to recoup my sanity. 

Elliot - my momma's boy. He taught me that a mother's heart is never too full to love another child. He is my sensitive one, he loves to be hugged and gives the best baby kisses. He is sweet and a gentle giant. Right now he mostly follows what his sister does but he is learning quickly and I can see him becoming a great man (just like Daddy), who will make significant changes in this world. 

Food - with 2 toddlers and a husband at home, it feels like I'm constantly in the kitchen preparing some kind of food. There is breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner and more than once in between I get asked for more food. Especially in the car, the kids seem to be most hungry and constantly ask for snacks. I try to feed them the most healthy foods as I can, but sometimes Chick fil-A is just as good as a home cooked meal is for them, especially since it comes without whining and crying at the dinner table.

Guilty - Almost daily I have Mommy guilt coming over me. I may feel guilty because I was too harsh or strict on them or didn't snuggle with them long enough after putting them to bed because I was too tired.  There is also a fine line between right and wrong and as a mother it is hard to find exactly that line where the child is happy, I'm happy and they are learning something valuable for the future too. Motherhood can be really hard and frustrating but oh so rewarding.

Hugs - There are lots of hugs given and received every day of the week in our house. I need them as much as my kids need them. The best hugs are those that come unexpected and I just hope that they never grow too old to be hugged or to sit on my lap. 

Infinite Optimism - As a parent you never give up because you can't. There are kids to take care of and a household to run. Based on our optimism, we know that tomorrow is a new day and everything will be great (or at least not as bad as today was). It's like a do-over that arrives every morning when you wake up. And then there is the kids' optimism as they don't know any better yet. Talk to a toddler and you know what I mean. They still believe in Fairy tales and Santa Claus and that all people are good. And I will do my best to keep it that way as those years of infinite optimism in a child are much too short. 

Jealousy - By having more than one child, there is automatically some sibling rivalry and jealousy going on. One always feels left out or thinks she/ he gets less than the other kid, which is often not true. One lesson that I learned and they will too is that equal isn't always fair. Despite the jealousy and the constant fighting over toys, snacks and attention, my two kids are best friends and are glad to have each other. 

Kaleidoscope of Emotions - Motherhood brings so many emotions with it. They range from overjoyed to guilty, angry to compassionate and depressed to fulfilled. The emotional roller coaster starts already when the baby is still in utero and only gets worse when the baby is finally born. And let me tell you, I never felt so many different emotions in one day until I became a mother. Some are very ugly but most of them are great. Motherhood is teaching me every day something new about myself and how to (learn to) control my emotions. 

Love and Laughter - there is an abundance of love in our hearts and laughter in the house. And despite the daily struggles and chaos, none of these become less. Actually, sometimes it is easier just to laugh about mishaps than to cry about them. Life is too short and kids grow up too fast to worry about stupid things.

Mommy - I can proudly say that I'm their one and only, for now. If there is a boo-boo to take care of, they are scared or lonely or when they feel tired or sick, I'm the person they come running to. From their first moment on this earth, I was number one in their little world (Daddy is a close second) and I hope it lasts many more years to come.

Never ending - Since getting pregnant, there was no way back except to dive head first into this thing called motherhood. And once you in it, it will last forever. Even when the kids grow up and I grow old, I will always be their mother and they will always be my babies. It seems like being a mother is never ending as motherhood does not know time, gives no breaks and doesn't offer vacations. As a mother you are constantly on call, if you want to or not. I may wish for peace and quiet sometimes or just a whole night of uninterrupted sleep but when this truly happens I still can't relax as it feels like I'm missing a part of me. For now the days maybe long but the years are short. So I decided that I will catch some sleep when I'm old and gray. 

Outdoor - If the weather permits, we are outdoors. The kids love being outside, going to a park, the pool or just running around in the backyard and for me it is a change of scenery and more serene than being couped up indoors with two energetic kids.

Parenting - definitely not an easy task and once you think you know what you are doing, there is a change in the dynamic (kids grow up/ develop) and you start off from scratch. It seems that every day I learn something new from them and grow in my role as their parent. It never stops, which is good because otherwise being a parent would become boring.

Quietness - is hard to come by in our house unless both kids are asleep. And then, it is almost my time to go to bed too. Not even during the night the house is completely quiet since lately at least one of the two kids is always waking up a couple of times. That's why I love to take morning runs (7am) as this is pretty much the only time of the day where I am alone and I can enjoy running thru the quiet neighborhood or listening uninterrupted to my music.

Reading - we read a lot in our house. More children books than anything else but that is ok because there will be a time in my life where I can read as much as I want. I love that my kids are developing a love for books. Amelia is practicing her reading skills every day by completing a beginner- level book a day. And Elliot can be found sitting on the couch with a book (he has a few favorites) almost any time of the day. As soon as I or my husband sit down, he will crawl in to your lap and demands that you read him his book. And at night before bed, we read a few books together on the couch. Thus, we visit twice a week the library to find new supply for our enjoyment.

Screaming - lots and lots of screaming, whining and crying is going on in the house when you have two young ones. Somehow there is always something that doesn't go their way and so they must whine about it. It drives me crazy. Also, Amelia enjoys making herself noticed with a very high-pitched scream. It is ear-numbing and for sure can give me a headache. Elliot actually picked up on it too and uses this tool once in a while to get his way. Sure, one day when they are in college and the house is all peaceful and quiet I will miss those whining noises but for now, I heard enough.

Thankful - Despite the fact that on some days these two kids drive me crazy, I am blessed and so thankful that I can stay home with them and raise them. I am their teacher, their best friend, idol (at least while they are young), and resource for all their needs and wants. I am also thankful that God chose me to be their mommy. It's the greatest gift of all. 

Unpredictable - I love routines, schedules and to have a plan. But lately (make that 4 years) life has become unpredictable and schedules are there just to be changed in the last minute. I never knew that such a human being can bring so much chaos in to my organized life. Despite trying to plan ahead, we constantly run late and once we arrive, it seems so has the chaos too, Children are unpredictable too- they scream, whine, and laugh out of nowhere and there is always a mishap going on when it is least needed. But at least I know that my life won't be dull anytime soon.  

Versatile - Here at home I'm known as mommy, but I also could be called waiter, cook, driver, accountant, personal shopper, playmate, nurse, storyteller, dishwasher, friend, and  maid. And the list could go on. Before I became a mom my job title was pretty boring (credit analyst) but now my resume would not be long enough to list all the duties a mother (especially a SAHM) performs on a daily basis (and without pay). I definitely learned to be more flexible as my duties move from one task to another quickly and I'm still learning while doing it. There is no formal "mommy training" and I have to adapt as I go since nothing goes as planned anyways.

Worrying - As a mother, I constantly worry. Even before my babies were born, I started to worry. During my first pregnancy I got already very anxious just driving in a car because I was worried something could happen to the baby. Nowadays, I worry mostly if they feel ok, eat enough, hit all the milestones they are supposed to, if they are too hot or cold, or if they could get hurt doing such and such. The worrying never stops. Some of those worries are totally absurd but as every mother would agree, it is just something that comes with being a mommy.

eXhausted - I'm constantly exhausted and tired. Running around after 2 little ones all day long is very draining and I usually fall asleep by 9pm. Before I had kids I worked full-time and completed my MBA degree at night and didn't feel as exhausted as now. It is true, motherhood wears you out/ down. I may not be mentally tired (I try to stay mentally fit but honestly I could use more "brainwork") but physically I am since I'm up on my feet all day, chasing children, carrying around 31+ lbs on my hips and having verbal arguments with my threenager. Thus, I'm totally ok if I can not go running every other day as I feel like that my body is being worked out all day long.

Yelling - Since I became the mother of a toddler/ threenager, the yelling in this house increased drastically. I'm not proud of it and currently I'm working on yelling less but I still catch myself raising my voice at my kids throughout the day. Sometimes it is just so hard as they don't want to or don't care to listen to me in a normal voice.

Zoo - Often I feel like we live in a zoo. Between the noise, the screams, the tantrums on the floor, the chaos and toys everywhere, it really feels like this house is run by a bunch of monkeys. But since we all love animals and since this is our life, I actually don't mind. Some days are crazy, some are bad but most of them are the best I ever had.

"Motherhood is the unyielding power that rises up in you when you realize a little person depends on you."  D. Wescott