It is the start of a new school year and even though Amelia hasn't started Pre-K yet (only 8 more days though), we have been quite busy here for the past 2 weeks. Lots of meetings, appointments and last play dates before all the kids head off to school again. Don't get me wrong. I love being busy and to have a full schedule. I dismay sitting at home and do nothing because it feels like I'm lazy. It seems like that mothers (especially SAHM) see busyness as a validation for being a good mother. The more we can do, the better of a parent we are to our children. Except it is not true because we exhaust ourselves, our resources and our children in the process. I have done this many times and in the end of the day, it seems like I have done nothing useful because I was busy doing too many things.
The other thing is that when I do too many activities, I feel like I'm not good enough at any of them because I do not invest enough time to figure out what I'm great at. And that applies to my kids too if I keep rushing them around from place to place just so we can catch up with everyone or won't have to turn down a fun activity.
And then there is social media and all those great posts and ideas of things one can do themselves and how so many mothers are great at this and that. I would love to be a great writer, make my own laundry detergent, cook only whole foods or monogram my kids' clothes. But I can't and I'm realizing slowly that that is ok too. I don't have to do all these things to be a better mom or wife and even though I may try some of them, it doesn't mean I will be good enough to make a business out of it. All I want/ have to do right now is to raise my two children, support my husband and create a home we all can be happy in.
Even though our schedules are already filling up with activities to do over the next few week (and I'm really excited about trying out new things), I will make a point to not overload us and leave room in our schedules so that we have some down time to enjoy each other instead of chasing from one thing to another. This may also give me the opportunity to find out what I'm really good at. I can spend more time on things I love instead on many things I only like.
The other day at a Mom's Mentoring meeting we talked about having a busy schedule vs. a full schedule. I liked the idea of saying full instead of busy because if my schedule is not busy what am I then? Lazy? On the other hand, a full schedule can mean full with activities I want to do ( i.e fulfilling) or just full because I decide that it is enough for me. As moms we are always working hard so we don't have to emphasize it with a word that makes us more stressed and anxious. Thus, I decided to use the word "full" more often now and put "busy" on the back burner.
So for the past few days our schedules were mostly blank and we did what we wanted to do: go to the playground, play outside, color, read, wear our pj's all day, etc. It feels good to be flexible and relax some in between more hectic days and also to allow our children to decide if they want to go somewhere or not. Today the kids and I walked to our neighborhood playground and then made some pretty chalk pictures while Daddy went fishing. It was nothing fancy, nothing stressful but a pretty perfect morning in my book.
And then there is social media and all those great posts and ideas of things one can do themselves and how so many mothers are great at this and that. I would love to be a great writer, make my own laundry detergent, cook only whole foods or monogram my kids' clothes. But I can't and I'm realizing slowly that that is ok too. I don't have to do all these things to be a better mom or wife and even though I may try some of them, it doesn't mean I will be good enough to make a business out of it. All I want/ have to do right now is to raise my two children, support my husband and create a home we all can be happy in.
The other day at a Mom's Mentoring meeting we talked about having a busy schedule vs. a full schedule. I liked the idea of saying full instead of busy because if my schedule is not busy what am I then? Lazy? On the other hand, a full schedule can mean full with activities I want to do ( i.e fulfilling) or just full because I decide that it is enough for me. As moms we are always working hard so we don't have to emphasize it with a word that makes us more stressed and anxious. Thus, I decided to use the word "full" more often now and put "busy" on the back burner.
So for the past few days our schedules were mostly blank and we did what we wanted to do: go to the playground, play outside, color, read, wear our pj's all day, etc. It feels good to be flexible and relax some in between more hectic days and also to allow our children to decide if they want to go somewhere or not. Today the kids and I walked to our neighborhood playground and then made some pretty chalk pictures while Daddy went fishing. It was nothing fancy, nothing stressful but a pretty perfect morning in my book.
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