My Threenager

For the last few months, when someone asked me how old Amelia is, I answer: "Three going on 13". Lately, I'm dealing with a little diva/ Threenager at home. People are talking about the terrible twos and how  it is the worst year of childhood a parent must endure. But then we are completely blindsided when we realize three is even worse; thus, the phrase Threenager. But I must say, it is not as crazy as I imagined. It is more her attitude and the back-talk that gets to me. Everything is "NO" and she argues about everything and anything when I ask her to do something. 

Don't get me wrong, she is still a sweet little girl but very opinionated and when she doesn't want to do something then she tells you so. Her favorite phrase right now is: "Oh man.'' (Thanks, Dora), "You betcha, Mommy!", "Because I said so." and "Stop that." Not sure, where she got those from, but she not only knows them well but she also uses them correctly. I definitely have a little Ms. Smarty Pants on my hands. The most intriguing part is, how she says those phrases, with lots of attitude. Sometimes she sounds like a 12 year old girl in the mist of puberty.

And a word I hear all day long from her is "Why?". This one actually drives me nuts especially if she asks one question, I explain it to her and then she continues on and on to ask "Why". Don't get me wrong, I encourage her to be curious and to learn but I think she uses the "Why" often to just annoy me. But there are more signs that we are living with a Threenager:

1. Her dress style: Lately, Amelia has very strong ideas about her wardrobe and what she likes to wear. She thinks she knows what is fashionable and what's not. Mostly, she wants to wear her "princess" dresses or a combination of multiple skirts, t-shirts and pants layered on top of each other, which of course will be changed a few times a day. If I tell her that it doesn't match or look good, she waves me off because my opinion or input no longer matters. And yes, I have said more often than I want to admit that she can't leave the house dressed like that but still all too often I'm accompanied by a princess fairy to the grocery store. I have to choose my battles and as long as she is somewhat normal dressed and not "butt-naked" (she loves running around the house in only underwear), I'll often just let her wear what she wants.
   
2. Her appetite:  My girl is constantly asking for food and loves the idea of snacking all day long. It doesn't matter if she just ate breakfast, 30 minutes later she will ask for a snack. I guess as long as she does eat her regular meals (always complaining what I serve though) and has healthy snacks, I just have to keep feeding her. Because if she gets too hungry, she gets cranky and moody, which brings me to the next point.
   
3. Her mood swings: One minute she is laughing and playing and then the next minute, she turns into a little diva throwing a fit and screaming at me. And I'm flabbergasted because often I really don't know why. Especially exhausting is when she goes boneless the second I ask her to do stop playing. It's actually pretty amazing because her body goes all limb and her body weight doubles so I can't move her. It's a talent reminiscent of a possum playing dead... 
   
4. Her attitude: As mentioned above, being three comes with a lot of attitude, back-talk and also boundary testing and the fact that they absolutely challenge everything. Somehow the ratio of "No" and "Stop That!" shifted from 90% me to her and it almost feels like that she thinks she is in charge all the time and I'm the annoying one. 
5. Her noise level: It is loud in our house from all the screaming, squeaking and whining. If something doesn't go her way then we will hear about it. Also, she wants to listen to her music over, and over, and over again. I should just "Let it Go"....
6. Her Sleep Schedule: She automatically refuses to nap, even though she wakes up way too early. Some days I get her to nap for 30-40 minutes but other days, it is hopeless. Of course the days she doesn't nap get worse by 5pm as she is tired and whiny. Some nights, after we read with her and she is tucked in, my threenager happily chats, sings, and reads to herself  with the occasional coming out of her room, until 2 hours later she decides she is ready to actually fall asleep. 
7. Her independence: My little girl wants to do everything - and I mean everything- herself:  dressing, feeding, decide what to watch and where to go. I always have to add extra time when we want to leave the house as she wants to tie her own shoes and buckle her own seat belt. I strongly believe that if she would be allowed to drive, she would want to do that too. 
8. Her language skills: Amelia talks, talks, talks all day. She especially likes to talk to me when I'm on the phone. It requires a lot of patience and good hearing to be able to complete a quick phone call in this house. Here is an example of a typical phone conversation of mine: "Hi. I need to schedule....not right now, sweetheart....a dental checkup for...don't jump on that couch!...me, preferably an afternoon appointment if....please don't hit your brother! Go play in your room for a minute. I will be there in just a second...sorry for the interruption. Yes, I need an appointment.." Recently I also noticed that she uses a lot of grunting and one-word answers as an acceptable form of communication. If I ask her to do something, I often get "Grrrrr..." as an answer. What does that mean??? Is she turning into an angry little dog? 
9. Her understanding and kind heart: She often surprises me with her random acts of kindness and understanding I didn't think she would have at that age. "Mommy, I'm a good girl to make you happy. I am playing nicely with Elliot." Or picking me some flowers in the front yard because she knows I like flowers. And then there are those surprise hugs and kisses and telling me that she loves me. Those moments don't come often enough but always at the right time and brighten my day and spirits. 

Days with my Threenager can be long and weary and zap out all of my patience and energy. But on the flip side, this time is also very rewarding. As her independence blooms and her vocabulary broadens, I hear her say those lovely things like, "You are my best friend, Mommy and I want to keep you forever!" Yes, she probably thinks I'm her pet or slave, but there is nothing sweeter than a super tight toddler cuddle and the knowledge that she is a good little person just learning to be human.